Built with a special circuit...

Someone told me I am special. He said that my circuit works different from most other people in the world. And I wonder, why me? And because my circuit is built different from most other people in the world, it is sometimes difficult for me to see things the way other people do, and other people to understand why I do what I do. Hence, life is a constant struggle. A continuous contradiction between me and myself, and a tug of war with the people who are closest to me. As for the people I don't know very well, I could throw myself into fire before I realise it is hot, or finishing an entire cake before I remember it is not mine. Then comes the thinking. The sort of thinking I cannot imagine anyone else could have. (That is why I am special.) The sort of thinking that goes into the deepest detail and soul questioning that goes on and on and on that I cannot go to sleep at night because my brain will not stop working. My brain tries to figure out lots of things that most probably do not have an answer, yet it persists and insists on figuring them all out. Thereafter, when I get really tired of thinking, fatigue takes over and I fall asleep. But my brain continues ticking and working so I have the most vivid dreams, and at the slightest sound or movement I get startled and woken up. Panic and anxiety hits. I can't remember where I stopped thinking, and why I stopped and I know that I haven't figured it out, and I need to carry on thinking. Of course, there really isn't a need to all the time. But worry overcomes me and I am unable to focus on anything I am doing. My hands tremble so badly I have to hide them when I am in public. So the someone tells me, it will be okay. That once I figure out how my circuit does not work with the rest of the world, I will gradually, ever so slowly change. And maybe one day my circuit will work like everyone else. Perhaps then it is easier to be happy. Perhaps then it is easier to make decisions. Perhaps then everything wouldn't feel so acute. But I am special. Perhaps I was built special for a reason. A reason I cannot comprehend but I am thankful for. For perhaps if I was built like everyone else, I wouldn't be able to explain to you about my special circuit. And my life would not be full of peaks and dips. Everything happens for a reason. I am not complaining about me. But I hope I am not being too much of a pain to everyone around me.