Waking up...

Waking up is a nightmare which repeats over and over again. My right hand clambers on the wall next to my bed and my finger nails dig into it to drag myself up unsucessfully. Trying to reach the phone to ask for help. Reaching the phone and dialed a number, but could not speak. Reaching the phone, but cannot dial a number. Not reaching the phone. Reaching the phone and spoke to someone but realised I still haven't after all. Getting up to draw the curtains back to let the light in, but to realise I haven't moved an inch from where I was. Walking out into the corridor towards the toilet and bathroom, and being rewound back into bed. Screaming for help but with no voice, each time I realise the cycles are repeating. Asking God to please help me just get up, get up, get up. Each time I ask, I managed to drag myself up and out into another environment, but seconds later realise I am still there, I haven't moved and I cry asking for help once more. I am playing the piano or speaking to my housemate asking his permission to play on it telling him how wonderfully he plays, then I am pulled all the way back into bed again. I pry my eyes open with both hands, and thank god that they are open, only they are not and my hands are lying heavily by my side unable to move. I try to open my mouth to ask for help, but no voice came. There I lay helpless and hopeless, as if a dead body yet undiscovered...the house phone rings. I shot up and ran down the stairs to the phone, the ringing ends. I walk slowly up the stairs wondering if I will realise again that I haven't moved after all. I have. God has answered my prayers. I am up...