Beautiful Uncertainty...

Out of the Dark....

2010-03-29T21:08:00.000+01:00

I'm burned out and wasted

I'm tired of pacing

I'm busy erasing voices of the dead

Everything changes

And everyone's faceless

I wanna replace this darkness in my head

In a strange strange place, I'm lying on the edge of a star

In these violent days, I only wanna be where you are

Even fools they say... can find a way out of the dark

Of the dark

Help me out of the dark

Have I been a sinner?

A lover, a killer?

Cause the world I've discovered

It feels nothing like my heart

I wanna escape it

Or try to embrace it

I keep re-arranging everything I know

In a strange strange place, I'm lying on the edge of a star

In these violent days, I only wanna be where you are

Even fools they say... can find a way out of the dark

Of the dark

Help me out of the dark

Out... of the dark

Help me out of the dark

- Matt Hires -

Snow in England

2010-01-12T11:54:00.003Z

This is the street outside my home, covered in white...

Footsteps in the snow...

Recreation park two minutes from my home...

I built my first snowman in my life...it's hard work!

He is a friendly one :)

Back at STARBUCKS!

2009-11-12T15:24:00.004Z

Yep, back there! Woo hoo!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Yes, I am quite happy. First, I am working again. After a very loooonngg time. Second, it is oh so christmassy at Starbucks and everywhere now, so it's such a good time to be back.

When I went to Whitgift Centre which is like a mall in the middle of town, I was jumping up and down and hugging Sarah and Fahid who was working on Tuesday. So us three did the screamy huggy thingy. I haven't seen them for ages and it is really touching to be back. Then the new manager showed up, his name - Fabio I think. He was talking with some new girl.

Then I realised that most of the people there that I know have gone, after I left they all followed suit not long after. Ian, the manager has resigned, Basia is on leave, Aneta's also resigned and gone back to Poland, Nora's gone to a Clapham store, Diana's now manager in another store. That leaves Fahid, Sarah and Michael that I know there really. After Fahid's shift, he came out of the store solemnly and told me that Fabio has hired that girl, and that's the last he's taking in. As much as Fahid and Sarah had asked for me instead of that other person, the new manager didn't want to change his mind, so too bad I was literally bout an hour late? Fahid did say he had booked me a spot with Ian (the previous manager) ever since I texted him about a month ago, and Ian had told Fabio, but no pulling strings with this new manager. Or maybe he didn't like that I did the screamy huggy thingy with Sarah and Fahid while they were working. Darn...

Fahid didn't give up though. He mentioned Diana is manager now, but I didn't realise that she was just in Centrale which is like two minutes from my old store, and I used to help out there when it was super busy last year during Christmas as well. He said, don't have high hopes as he doesn't know if Diana has finished hiring for the season. She might have. But he walked with me, the moment we got to Centrale, we did another round of screamy huggy thingy. Zuzanna spotted me first and she screamed. Diana was on the phone and did not see me. Later when she finished and turned around, she went like.... "OMG, look who's here. Where have you gone?" Before she said anything else, we were doing the screamy huggy. And then Zuzana said while pointing to a stack of other applications. "I don't want the others. I want her". Fahid looked at me, I looked at Fahid. We looked at Diana, she said she's only hiring for now till Christmas. I nodded my head so hard, Zuzanna nodded so enthusiastically as well. I couldn't help grinning from ear to ear. I guess I just got hired then and there!:) Yayyy!!!

Heaps of paperwork to do, from scratch. It's like doing homework all over again. I took the entire evening completing two books. And the following day, another hour and a half in the store with Diana going through fire quizzes, contracts, till operation agreements etc. And I now officially have a new partner number, and start work Saturday:)

It's not a big deal, and I know I'm going to have to work my ass off again. But it is better than having nothing:)

How to make Chinese Chicken Rice

2009-08-26T13:05:00.002+01:00

Yesterday I made some kick-ass Chinese chicken rice. And you know how I like food. I wouldn't say kick-ass, unless it is. It was my first try. Experimental. But it was GooooooooooD. I know you guys don't cook back there. But whoever wants to try... here's how to do it!:)

Ingredients:

Jasmine rice:)
2 x red onions
5 x cloves garlic
4-6 com ginger
2 x large knobs of butter
Salt
Depending on how many you are cooking for:
2 x pieces chicken legs/thighs
Sesame oil
Light soya sauce
Dark soya sauce
Chilli garlic sauce
Lime zest and juice

Steps:

1) Chop onions, garlic and ginger. Fry till slightly brown and fragrant. Prepare food processor. Put 1 x small cup of water into the blender, then the onions, garlic and ginger. Blitz till you get a smooth paste.

2) Wash and boil rice. Add the onion, garlic and ginger mix into the water and wait for water to boil. Then add two large knobs of butter and mix well into the water and rice. Add a little salt if you like. Lower heat and simmer until rice is cooked. Voila, the very nice and fragrant rice is ready!

3) Season the chicken pieces with lots of sesame oil, a little salt, and light soya sauce. Wrap with foil and cook in oven until chicken is not red inside. When you open the foil wrap, there should be lots of chicken juices. Keep the juice and just take the chicken out and chop and arrange on top of rice.

4) Add lime zest and juice to garlic chilli sauce. Add a drop of sesame oil and about 3 x tablespoons of the chicken juices to the dark soya sauce. Mix well. Drizzle dark soya sauce mix onto chicken and rice just before serving.

5) Serve with slices of cucumber on the side, and some coriander on the chicken.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy. This was inspired by a Malaysian restaurant in Croydon. Now I can make my own, I don't have to pay £6 for a plate of chicken rice no more:)

Can't stop moaning...

2009-08-12T14:43:00.003+01:00

One who is busy with work has less time to moan about life. Unfortunately, I am at the stage of unemployment and hating it, so yes... plenty of time to moan about my life. Here are some of my petty petty moanings:

1) I think the house is pretty clean. Toilets, bathroom, kitchen etc. However my housemate insists that DEEP CLEANING needs to be done every week. How DEEP can you go about cleaning? And on his off days you will hear him scrub the toilets and bathroom for hours (yes, hours) and they are very small only. So I don't know how deep he went. And seriously, if I wasn't home I don't really care. But now being at home and hearing him go on and on in the bathroom, really gets on my nerves and stresses me out. Plus, I think he does it extra loud so I can hear him and get the hint and DO IT. But I don't know how to DO IT. Cos there is nothing to do!

2) Jobs. I know there are jobs out there. Yes, cleaner jobs, babysitting perhaps. Ironing even. But I really just want to have a proper job. Beggars can't be choosers I know. But I have been working on my cvs and reel etc to send out. So no, I'm not just bumming around at home. Even so, it does get annoying whenever we walk past a shop window and "Oh, Jasmine that one needs a cleaner. Go for it!". I know I should, I just fail to embrace the opportunity. And lately, a friend has recommended me a job in Hull. That is super far away from where I am. It is a waitressing job, food and accommodation provided for in a chinese restaurant. 10 hours work a day, 6 days a week. I would consider the job, and was actually thinking about it, but the friend later called to tell me I asked the restaurant manager too many questions. And that I embarassed her, and told me to forget about the job. I was like ???? Huh? What did I even do? I just wanted to find out details before packing my bags, go far far away and staying in goodness knows where and working for don't know who. Apparently, by asking basic questions, I have attitude problems. Sigh.

3) In denial. Most people are. The say everything is all going to be all right. Just don't think about it, it will all turn out well. How is it that when you don't plan things are going to turn out just all right for you? Perhaps you could be lucky. But more often than not, work is involved to make sure your boat is steering the right way. Again, I have so much time on my hands at the moment, I am thinking a lot about the future. Oh I am steering the boat all right, but I do need some guidance, help etc. I just don't know where to go. What to do. I've been doing lots. But the boat has stayed in one place. And yes, when the boat don't move, the fat dont' go anywhere. So the shanks and handles have been building up quite well. Muffin tops and dangly bingo wings. Ah, all the amount of yoga. And still looking like a ball, which cannot roll. Can you imagine how frustrating that is?

4) Being mistaken to be Thai. The amount of times people come up to me greeting me in Thai is uncountable now. Seriously. Whether they are English trying to be funny, or genuine Thais in this country thinking I am one of them. I am not saying I am better, please do not insult me for being Thai. I am saying, please check before you greet. It is terribly irritating and I feel like a record player saying "Sorry, I'm not Thai, I don't understand." Then smile widely, and they carry on speaking Thai to you. ??? Why?

Ah well, that is me, moaning. About little petty things in life. My life is not too bad. I've just been to Ireland and back. It's been an overall good trip. Have pictures to post, but will do so early next week as I don't have a camera, so the photos aren't with me. Moan moan moan...

Oxted Pram Race 2009

2009-07-21T19:14:00.004+01:00

Early this month, I participated in what I would think the most outrageous race I have ever been in my life. Well, I suppose it is not so unusual in England, but for me costumes and dress-ups are not normally my kind of thing. We saw the poster advertising the race one fine Friday afternoon. I laughed at it and said "What?? Prammmssss?" Then Andy asked if I was interested to join the Oxted Pram Race 2009, my first thought was "No wayyyyyyyy", then seconds later I thought "Ah well, I might not be here this time next year, so this might be my once in a lifetime being ridiculous. Plus no one here knows me anyway. Might as well. Okay!"

Before I knew it, we were discussing a team name while having a beer, and I was appointed team leader. Yeay! Team name - The AWE PAIRS!!!:)

I told myself I was NOT going in costume, but then later Andy found pictures of previous year's races, and omg everyone has gone all out for costumes and building amazing prams. So I agreed to go in costume, but a rather safe one:) Not Andy though.

It was great atmosphere during the race day. Everyone was dressed up walking in a big field. You name it, they have it. Batman, Legoman, Smurfs, Wimbledon Tennis players, policemen, firemen, prisoners, nuns, cavemen etc. Andy's friend, Bill let us borrow Ben and Sue's old pram. It was a baby pram, but surprisingly we fit in it. Heh. Oxted looked like a small village, but the amount of people that turned up was astounding. Lots of families, lots of children with water guns. It didn't look thaaaaaaat many at first, but once the race started, and the children started firing, we all got soaked in no time.

There were 7 stops, some pubs, a cricket club. At each stop we were to drink 1/2 a pint of beer then swap places. Andy started off first. By the 4th stop, we were both feeling really sick. Running and drinking beer REALLY does not go together. Especially the last bit of the race was an uphill run. We just stopped and standing there with beers in our hand, panting away, soaked and we couldn't carry on. A man came up to us shouting "Oi, in case you haven't noticed, it's a race!!!!!!" All right, all right.. sick as we felt we downed the alcohol and moved on.

Here's a video of the pram race. Can you spot us? Hint, I got stuck and had to swap. Hehe. We came in 64th place out of 84 teams. Not bad for a first time?

Rag Doll

2009-07-07T15:29:00.002+01:00

Weird houses I drew over the last couple of years...

2009-06-18T12:49:00.001+01:00

Built with a special circuit...

2009-05-30T23:15:00.004+01:00

Someone told me I am special. He said that my circuit works different from most other people in the world. And I wonder, why me? And because my circuit is built different from most other people in the world, it is sometimes difficult for me to see things the way other people do, and other people to understand why I do what I do. Hence, life is a constant struggle. A continuous contradiction between me and myself, and a tug of war with the people who are closest to me. As for the people I don't know very well, I could throw myself into fire before I realise it is hot, or finishing an entire cake before I remember it is not mine. Then comes the thinking. The sort of thinking I cannot imagine anyone else could have. (That is why I am special.) The sort of thinking that goes into the deepest detail and soul questioning that goes on and on and on that I cannot go to sleep at night because my brain will not stop working. My brain tries to figure out lots of things that most probably do not have an answer, yet it persists and insists on figuring them all out. Thereafter, when I get really tired of thinking, fatigue takes over and I fall asleep. But my brain continues ticking and working so I have the most vivid dreams, and at the slightest sound or movement I get startled and woken up. Panic and anxiety hits. I can't remember where I stopped thinking, and why I stopped and I know that I haven't figured it out, and I need to carry on thinking. Of course, there really isn't a need to all the time. But worry overcomes me and I am unable to focus on anything I am doing. My hands tremble so badly I have to hide them when I am in public. So the someone tells me, it will be okay. That once I figure out how my circuit does not work with the rest of the world, I will gradually, ever so slowly change. And maybe one day my circuit will work like everyone else. Perhaps then it is easier to be happy. Perhaps then it is easier to make decisions. Perhaps then everything wouldn't feel so acute. But I am special. Perhaps I was built special for a reason. A reason I cannot comprehend but I am thankful for. For perhaps if I was built like everyone else, I wouldn't be able to explain to you about my special circuit. And my life would not be full of peaks and dips. Everything happens for a reason. I am not complaining about me. But I hope I am not being too much of a pain to everyone around me.

Sin and Leong Lik's Fantastic Wedding

2009-05-27T21:21:00.008+01:00

The main reason I was back in Malaysia was to attend Sin's wedding. I must say, it is really a most unique wedding. Not one bit of it was boring like other weddings are. No offence to other married couples. But weddings can be a drag. Sin made sure just about everything was customised, so it wasn't like anybody else. And that little customization she did for the invitation cards, the menu, the wedding favors, wedding band, photos and videos, wedding car, wedding dress and shoes... well, I wouldn't call it little any more. Everything has a brilliant personal touch. I don't know how she did it, but she did it! Or should I say, Mr. and Mrs Wong did it! It was simply magnificent and words fail me to describe how wonderful it all was. Anyway, there will be lots of pictures posted on Facebook pretty soon by her many, many photographers. The ones that are already on Facebook, I have been looking at them over and over all day and still not tired of them yet.

It was also a great chance to meet up with all the Convent girls. The noisy group which includes Jennifer (the one with the shrill voice), Adeline (who helped plan the awesome wedding), Cute Jiun (looking more and more Korean), Bunny Teah(who gets bullied all the time), Lim Fong (beautiful and sexy) and Cindy (the one who provides medical advice, though it's always wise to get a second opinion). Then all the others whom I haven't met for agessssssss - Selvarasi (from Convent primary school and getting married soon!!), Janet, Joyce, Ee Ling, Siew Wei, Blenggg. So not only it was a day for the newly wed, it was also our little gathering day for all the girls.
Ex-housemate from KJ house - Tong Cruise! I didn't get to speak much to him, but hey...everyone's there! From High School Muar - Jia Liang, from St Andrew's - James Koh, from MFX - Zoule (the video guy). It was just so so good to have loads of people you know at the same time and same place.

The "ji muis" had a swell time torturing the "heng tais" in the morning. We didn't manage to finish the list of torture we had planned though, mainly because the guys were too slow in action and the bride had to leave before 9 a.m! We had them do push ups, eat apples no hands off Likky's chest area, eat bananas from between his legs, pass hard boiled egg through their trousers, kiss each other with a thin layer of seaweed between their lips and what I looked forward to the most - tear wax strips off their hairy legs. Michael did a good one. I saw a bald square surrounded by hairy bits where he tore his strip off. Woot woot!! Then Leong Lik sang his heart out for Sin Yee through the door. It was all so romantic.....

There's always a first time for everything. Sin had asked me to be MC for the reception. Lionel was my partner. Heh. I thought I would be more nervous, but it was not too bad after some preparation with Lionel the day before and Teah's help with the translation of the toasts to Chinese proverbs that should bring the couple and all the guests good fortune etc. Alban and Jiun helped in screaming on stage for the toasts. Alban did his melodious "Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum......................" and Jiun helped with my Chinese script. It was great fun. I hope I didn't spoil the event too much anyway:)

Then there was ballroom dancing. Pheeweeet, Sin first danced with her dad, and Likky with his mum, then other people started joining in. We had a crash course from Jasraj and Tiffany on the morning of the big day. Still everyone was looking at their feet on the dance floor:)I only knew like 3 steps to repeat throughout the entire song. And the band was planning 4 songs for the dance. I had a go with Andy, but not for long...lolz. We only danced like 3/4 of a song:P

It was also the first time I went with the newly weds to go "YUM SENG" from table to table. I had my glass refilled more than Sin or Likky did. Also, the secret is - Ribena!!! I didn't know that before! I had a sip and almost spit it out! So the waiter holds two bottles in his hands - One red wine bottle with actual red wine, and the other is Ribena. I'd say go for the alcohol definitely:)

After the wedding reception, Cute Jiun carried on with the next agenda. Karaoke in Red Box Mid Valley. There were 15 of us I think. I was pretty smashed by then, my voice almost gone from screaming YUM SENG the entire night and my heels were killing me. Cindy got me her hotel bedroom slippers and I looked a total wreck. Karaoke Queen - Kem Kem was singing already even before I got there. I could hear her when I called Alban. Damn semangat. Alban ordered 2 bottles of whisky, and Lim Fong won a third in a lucky draw! We only shared one between 5-6 of us. Because I had already lost my voice, I only did the screaming songs. At the end of the session, I literally looked like a ghost - with my eyeliners smudged, hair down and dragging my feet around in bedroom slippers.

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Wong LL and may the two of you live happily ever after! Multiply soon and give us ang pows during Chinese New Year. Actually anytime in the year you feel like giving angpows, I'm sure we'll gladly accept.

YOU GUYS ROCK!!

My new babies...

2009-04-28T20:37:00.006+01:00

I'm so proud of them, grew them from seeds and seedlings. The courgettes were grown indoors and just been put out this morning. There's also bay and rosemary grown straight in the garden. More to come, tomatoes and peppers! :D

Courgette, chives and coriander

Courgette and mint (we can make homemade mojito)

Courgette and fennel

Spinach, beetroot and mixed salad leaves (very soon, I can harvest this and make salad!)

BIG sunflowers! Not so big yet:)

Patatas!! Um, not sure how to harvest them yet. But they've grown so much!

Lastly, my lovely flowers - Geraniums of 3 different colours, blooming soon!

Beautiful Uncertainty...

2009-04-07T00:57:00.002+01:00

It's been a long time. The dirty linen is well kept indeed. And so it shall be for as long as it should be, and can be. Spring is here. Days are longer. Longer than it is in Malaysia. The sun rises at half five in the morning and sets at eight. There are bright, beautiful flowers everywhere. And so I start anew. To let all the darkness out from the open windows and let the sun shine in.

The past will always be there. The future is yet to be known. That is why uncertainty is beautiful. Sometimes life gets difficult and we lose hope and give up, but to know that there are friends who are always around, a roof over our heads, a bed to sleep in at night... is more than enough for us to be thankful everyday.

I lost my iPhone last Saturday night. I had it in my pocket when I went out as I always do. When I got home, it wasn't there anymore. It didn't make sense. And I lost hope, fairly certainly, fairly quickly, that I will not ever see my phone again. I felt disappointed in myself. Why was I not more careful etc. Morning came, I called everyone I could to find out where I could have left it. No one had seen it. No one had handed in my phone. All my work contacts and appointments were in there. I would have been more devastated before, but I wasn't. Maybe it isn't the best thing though. It was as if I have tried my best, and it just isn't going to get my phone back. I was being punished for being careless. I just gave up, and told myself no need to cry over spilt milk. Being sensible, I barred my number after 24 hours and no one had called to return it. I went to the homes of my work contacts to leave them notes, with my house phone number.

Monday morning, they all called me to tell me how sorry they were for my loss. Ah well, they were all very nice. I told them I'd be going to town to get a replacement SIM card and phone. Two minutes before I left the house, the house phone rang.

A little blackbird named Paul had called. Paul and his 13 year old daughter had found my phone on bright and early Sunday morning. They said my phone was just lying on the curb, plain for everyone to see, and yet no one picked it up. They waited 15 whole minutes to see if anyone came running back to get it. I was at home calling all the wrong people. They took it into the cinema (it was lying right outside it) and they were told no one reported the loss. They took it home, the battery had died. Paul didn't know how to use the phone. His son's friend came around and said he had the right charger. They plugged my phone in, and Voila! My phone is on the way home. Paul delivered my phone right to my doorstep. He insisted he was out and it was on the way to wherever he was going.

I was excited beyond words. I was touched, and amazed at humankind. In times like this, in year 2009, if someone had picked an iPhone up, how often is it returned? And delivered to the door? There is hope, there is faith. The faith in the Lord God Almighty. I did promise Him something if the phone was returned, but the promise was made without faith. And now, the promise needs to be kept. :D It is a silly promise, but if God was trying to say something, it has been said loud and clear.

It really isn't easy sometimes, but when it is possible... I am thankful for everything I have and not have in my life. I am who I am and how I am because of everything that had happened, good or bad. My family will always be my family and I appreciate them all, but I must be truly lucky to also have the greatest friends that are like my family, AND to have my iPhone returned.

Uh oh... did I do something wrong again?

2009-03-13T00:58:00.004Z

It is the sort of time in my life when I recall from my life lots and lots of things. Big things, small things. Good things, bad things. There is one thing though, that has been playing on and on in my head the entire week. Something my mum had taught me since I was young. "Never wash your dirty linen in public". And I suppose blogging is public. That is sort of why I have not blogged for a while.

Because I couldn't quite determine, which parts of my life are considered dirty linen and which aren't? To my parents, certain things should never be said out loud. Certain things should always be discussed only behind closed doors. But doesn't all these hush hush just accumulate and the room gets full and the doors just burst open? Sometimes I just feel it is too much. So much that I really want to tell. But I can't help remembering what I was taught. And so I hold back, A LOT.

The confusing part is, how do I know which things are approved and which are not? Am I not adult enough to make my own decisions? Am I not old enough to fall and be brave, get up and walk again by myself? Do I still need approvals and validations? Because everytime I make decisions, something goes wrong. Sometimes, very very wrong. Well, sometimes they are pretty good. But let's just admit it. People only remember the wrong ones. Hardly ever, the opposite. Which then goes to prove, I need approvals and validations all the time. Geez, if this goes on forever, I will be needy and dependent forever. So I think it's about time to stop. Although I don't think I really know how to. But it is definitely HIGH time to start learning now.

Some people just smile and laugh all the time. No problems are too big. Everything is okay or will be okay. How do they do that? Are they really happy, or is that just a put on mask for the rest of the world to see? If these are really happy people then wow, I do wish I was like them. But if they are just extremely great pretenders, then I do feel very sad for them. I think it is worse for them. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying we should dig deeper into our holes and bury ourselves deeper into misery all the time. I am not saying, FEED DEPRESSION, GET BIPOLAR. I'm just saying, STOP PRETENDING. I really think it is freaking okay to be not okay sometimes.

I think I am just really tired. Tired of bottling. Pretending. Proving. Justifying.
Pretending I am okay, so that people don't see me as "needy", proving to my family that I can survive, justifying my actions to just about everyone in the world. Writing about my bicycle and Biscuit was kinda okay, but it hardly touched the surface of my life.

But people in general like to know happy things, not unhappy things. I get that. I understand. Because I don't really like reading the papers or watching the news, cos it is almost bad news all the time. Perhaps this blog will make many people cross and undignified. But I am really tired of being a hypocrite. I would like to be who I am, the imperfect me. I would like to express how I feel and say what I feel like saying, and share what I feel like sharing, without being judged.

Do you know what is "Onomatopoeia?"

2009-03-12T21:46:00.001Z

I didn't before, so it's sort of my new word, and I think it is a rather interesting word. So I am going to share this brilliant new word with you guys:)

Onomatopoeia is the forming and use of words and phrases to imitate or suggest the sounds they describe, such as bang, whisper, cuckoo, splash and fizz. Onomatopoeia is one of the resources of language more often used by poets than prose writers; this is because poetry is made for the ear as well as the eye, and depends more heavily than prose does on sound-effects.

And here is a famous and awesome poem that uses lots of onomatopoeia and it's nice:)

On the Ning Nang Nong

On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
and the monkeys all say BOO!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots jibber jabber joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning
Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang
The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!!

Spike Milligan

Isn't it brilliant? Onomatopoeia...onomatopoeia...onomatopoeia...

Biscuit

2009-03-11T13:11:00.003Z

I was really afraid of dogs before. But I think Sin and Schatzie cured me since. I still hate cats though. (Cat lovers, don't hate me, I really am scared of cats... can't help it) Biscuit is really funny, sometimes quite a pest when he barks a lot and wants lots of attention. But I think I really like him. Makes me miss Schatzie too. Got to take this little one for walkies to school and back everyday. But it is a little new highlight to my days.

Emptiness

2009-03-09T22:22:00.005Z

My head throbs in pain, I close my eyes and put my face in my hands

My heart is wound tightly and cruelly as fear grips me

Emptiness

So hollow it feels I have been stabbed through my heart and the hole would not close, I am bleeding so quickly I am dying

I can barely feel myself

I can barely grasp on reality

Yet reality hits me so hard like hailstones in my face

I close my eyes and I feel more pain

I squeeze my eyes tighter in hope the pain would go

I try to focus on my breathing

The anguish and anxiety does not disappear

I clutch at my heart with my hands holding my rosary

Come on you can do it

What for, really? What for?

I don’t know what for, but you just need to

But I don’t see the need to, it’s all pointless. Everything is, pointless.

Clawing through, screaming through my own muffles

My sobbing continues on and on

I know I am but a little speck of sand in the world, in the universe

My troubles are small and irrelevant

I am overwhelmed by it all, because of myself

Awareness is something I did not appreciate at the moment

Ignorance is bliss, yet I struggle to find the truth everyday, every moment of every day in every little thing

I fight for a life of my own, a purpose to wake up to

I cannot speak, but I cry

Hours and hours of tears that leaves me shaking and trembling

I hold out my hand to nothingness

No, I hold out my hand to God

God that will lead me…hopefully one day I can see… where

My new bicycle...

2009-02-26T13:19:00.005Z

Two nights ago, I thought about purchasing a bicycle. After some thought, I did. It was a wise decision because then I can start saving on bus fares. The weather is getting warmer again, so it is a good time to buy it. It is not a wise decision because I cannot really ride a bike. So I have to start to learn to ride it.

It's a second hand bicycle, teenager size bike. The adult sizes are all too high for me. Even the ladies bikes. It came with a good price and a helmet too. Today, I bought the bicycle lights and lock. So I'm going to learn to ride my new bicycle, which I will name. But I don't know what yet. :) I just hope I don't crash or break it before I name it...

Discours de toilette...

2009-01-28T09:55:00.002Z

So, is it just me or does everyone think about what is going out when they go to the toilet? It's not disgusting, for those who are thinking it is... It's something all humans do. I realised this morning, that everytime I go, I go thinking... hmm, this is breakfast from this morning? Or was it dinner last night making space for breakfast? Or was it both dinner and breakfast making space for lunch? Anyway, it is good...very healthy and everyone should go everyday!!

Christmas and New Year Greetings ( I knowwwww......... )

2009-01-11T20:31:00.005Z

A very late Merry Christmas and Happy 2009 to everybody...!!! A post specially dedicated to my dearest nephew and niece (yes, I got a niece now too:) ) Joel and Isabel. I bought the lil Christmas tree from here because when I skyped with Joel, my mum and sister I asked Joel what he wanted for Christmas. And ever so clever mummy urged him saying "Christmas tree!!" So he shouted "Christmas tree!!" I rolled my eyes and told him "Okay, small one okay? Xiao yi send small christmas tree to you.." "No, I want the big one, chop down with axe one!" How come kids are so clever nowadays? I didn't know there were real christmas trees until I was much older. I always thought they just sell them in shops. How come he knows there are real ones that people can chop down.... geez....

Anyway, it was REALLLLY difficult to find a "not real" christmas tree here. Everyone and everywhere there were REAL chopped down christmas trees. But I finally found a little one that has lights that changes colors. A battery operated one. So that was what I got for him. It isn't what he asked for really, but that will have to do...

My sister said he had it on the whole day when he received it. I'm happy he liked it..:) Pictures pictures... look at me beautiful new niece!!!

My niece looks fascinated by the tree too, very clever no?
El, your hair is long already, go to barber and tell him to cut short short and shuai shuai okay?
Love lots and lots.....

~xiao yi

How foolish could I be

2008-12-22T22:24:00.002Z

How foolish could I be

I closed the door behind me

And found myself facing a wall

A wall of concrete that is not breaking

Not breaking through for me to see

I turn around and the door is gone

My heart sinks in sorrow and regret

I miss the beautiful trees

I miss the erupting volcano

Knocking on the cold, hard, concrete wall

I am trapped

I hit the wall hard with my fists

I plead it to let me see the other side

Bits crumble in my hand

Broken bits, blood on my hands

Tears on my cheeks

The wall is unmoving

I miss the beautiful trees

The moving beautiful trees

It is the only way I know how

And I wish it wasn't

How foolish could I be

Waking up...

2008-12-05T10:59:00.002Z

Waking up is a nightmare which repeats over and over again. My right hand clambers on the wall next to my bed and my finger nails dig into it to drag myself up unsucessfully. Trying to reach the phone to ask for help. Reaching the phone and dialed a number, but could not speak. Reaching the phone, but cannot dial a number. Not reaching the phone. Reaching the phone and spoke to someone but realised I still haven't after all. Getting up to draw the curtains back to let the light in, but to realise I haven't moved an inch from where I was. Walking out into the corridor towards the toilet and bathroom, and being rewound back into bed. Screaming for help but with no voice, each time I realise the cycles are repeating. Asking God to please help me just get up, get up, get up. Each time I ask, I managed to drag myself up and out into another environment, but seconds later realise I am still there, I haven't moved and I cry asking for help once more. I am playing the piano or speaking to my housemate asking his permission to play on it telling him how wonderfully he plays, then I am pulled all the way back into bed again. I pry my eyes open with both hands, and thank god that they are open, only they are not and my hands are lying heavily by my side unable to move. I try to open my mouth to ask for help, but no voice came. There I lay helpless and hopeless, as if a dead body yet undiscovered...the house phone rings. I shot up and ran down the stairs to the phone, the ringing ends. I walk slowly up the stairs wondering if I will realise again that I haven't moved after all. I have. God has answered my prayers. I am up...

Fall....

2008-12-05T06:48:00.002Z

Emo in a park, breathing fall in the UK....

I am sorry...

2008-12-03T15:16:00.002Z

I have caused you much hurt and pain, taken you on many roller coaster rides... I am sorry. I have said sorry so many times it doesn't mean anything anymore. But I really am. You have been the greatest and mean more to me than many other things in life. I have made a mistake. A mistake I cannot undo. Losing you is like losing an arm or a leg. But I made the decision to do so. For that, I hope the only good I have done is rid you off a burden, that is me. Only two people I know in my entire life know me, the real me. And you are one of them. You understand me like nobody else ever can. I look to you in times of trouble and misery, you never turned me away. I, on the other hand have gone missing in action when you needed me most. Words cannot express how sorry I really really feel. You were there, and I wasn't. I will always love you, for that I am sure. There are not many things in life I am sure about, but for that I know will be true. I know not what to do to make things right, nothing will make anything right. Not now, not for a long time. Thank you for being patient with me, I know I have not been easy to bear. You have been the greatest and will always be...truly...

emo

2008-11-26T23:55:00.002Z

Me computer's been down, just got fixed yesterday so I am very glad. I'm connected once more...
Been looking at Sin's and Cindy's blog... I miss you all so much...
Will update more soon with pics and all... love you all very, very much...(emo)

White Alert!!! White!!!

2008-10-29T23:35:00.004Z

Today I must write!! Because I saw WHITE! Yeahhhhhh....white!! Snow? Ice? Whatever that's called, that is cold...:) I didn't see it falling down... although I did get a call last night, "Look out the window!!" when it was freezing cold, and I was trying to get warm in bed. I looked out the window and saw drizzle. Ah well, go back to sleep. But this morning, was AWESOME!! I had to wake up at 5:30 am to shower and go to work and the moment I stepped out on to the main road, OMG.... the cars are covered in thick white "stuff". Okay, I've been told that's not snow... but it is as well... they don't have a name for it. It's too early in the year to have snow, but it did... so they don't want to say it is snow. They say ice. Whatever!! :D

The children are on their half term holidays and they are now home all day with the PSP, Wii, PC and BIG TV screen for DVD and TV. So it's screens and screens everywhere, big and small, tall and wide. And when you tell them to switch all of the screens off, they don't know what to do. They absolutely have NO LIFE!! Oh yeah, I've got a new technique to deal with repetitive questions from the little boy :) When he starts going... "Jaaaasssssmiinneeeeee, can I go on the computer please?" "No" I reply once. Then before he asks me the second, third, fourth, fifith time in a row... I do it for him. But I do it like ten times... :) And I question and answer myself with no breaks in between really quickly:) It works. For at least a couple hours before he tries again. The first time when I did it, he was in shock. He stared, open mouthed and stood still and watched me as I did what he normally does. At the end of it, I smile at him and say "Okay?" He dumbly replied "Okay." I won. Heh..

The new craze after Beyblades, is Catch-a-Beast, then now Gogo Crazy Bones, and there's no end to all these things. I must admit though the Gogo Crazy Bones are rather nice and cute. My kind of thing...:) They are now officially banned from the school. With the head teacher writing formal letters to all parents informing them that the children are NOT allowed to bring them to school. That's how bad it gets.

It's like near midnight now and I haven't stopped since I woke up at 5:30 this morning. I have been doing opening at Starbucks then straight to the childrens' after. And tonight, I had to go back to Starbucks after the children's place for the Christmas promotions meeting. I was ready to collapse and die after a 2 hour session of Mathematics with the children. But the Christmas meeting turned out really exciting and christmassy and warm and nice:) Because we had our partner sampling of coffee and Christmas food we will be selling. We had a special Christmas blend coffee, Dark Cherry Mocha, some AWESOME special Christmas muffins (we tried two kinds) and turkey paninis. It was YUM!!! It was bloody cold, seriously.... but it was us sitting in our lil kiosk having this meeting... 10 of us, talking bout Festive Fridays, and eggnogs and past Christmas experiences. It was really nice to see the Christmassy cups, merchandise etc. All so very exciting.... Sounds like hell though, cos I am the only new person who hasn't experienced Starbucks during Christmas. But nice kind of hell if you know what I mean. We are going to open till LATE every night, and it sounds like we have to empty the bins every 10 mins or so kinda craziness.

Then at 10 p.m, when we finally finished going through all that... we all went to Nandos with money from our tip box. Yeay!! Again, I was ready to just collapse and die, but I wasn't about to miss out on Nandos!!! And the hard earned money from our ever so go service and coffee :) Heh.... :) Stuffed my face with like half a chicken, coleslaw, fries, rice and ratatouille and then a colleague's dad was nice enough to drive me home.:) I am glad I am finally sitting in my warm bed now. I got like 5 hours to sleep before another LOOONGGGG day... particularly not looking forward to mopping kitchen floors, ironing and MATHEMATICS.

Praise the Lord.... I survived this white, cold but beautiful day...:)

Word(s) Of The Day...

2008-09-24T20:43:00.003+01:00

Prob not new words to many people.. but my vocab sucks, so I'm adding some words to my vocab...

Ostentatious
–adjective

1.	characterized by or given to pretentious or conspicuous show in an attempt to impress others: an ostentatious dresser.

2.	(of actions, manner, qualities exhibited, etc.) intended to attract notice: Lady Bountiful's ostentatious charity.

Ubiquitous
–adjective
Existing or being everywhere, esp. at the same time; omnipresent: ubiquitous fog; ubiquitous little ants.

Blog yang kosong dan bosan...

2008-09-24T19:02:00.004+01:00

Ah, kengkawan... tak da apa sangat nak update sebenarnya. Tak happening sangat kat sini. Kerja tak banyak, main tak banyak, tidur tak banyak, duit tak banyak.... tapi lemak banyak. Lemak saja yang bertambah. Makan banyak la, makan yang bukan-bukan. Yang tidak sihat. Kinder bueno banyak. Bueno means "good", so I makan Bueno banyak. Sangat banyak.

Saya mau makan mamak, sini tak da. Paling-paling pun bekal sejuk Cina dari Tesco, tidak sedap pun. Sebab kerja tak banyak, duit tak banyak, tengok tv banyak lah. Tengok apa tau? *Geleng kepala* tengok program masak-masak kat sini. Belajar masak. Seronok juga. Tapi rasa betul-betul macam suri rumah. Ada cuba masak sikit, tengok kat tv macam nampak bes! Tapi yang saya masak...bila tengok tak sedap, bila makan boleh tahan je la. Masak kat sini banyak guna alkohol, dan susu atau krim. Tulah sebabnya lemak saya jadi banyak.

Cuaca sudah jadi sejuk. Kawan serumah saya sudah mula pasang api kat dalam rumah. Saya macam jakun lah. Tak pernah nampak api dalam rumah. Tapi shiok juga. Tapi memang betul-betul macam jakun sampai lompat kegembiraan apabila nampak api dan bara. Kan dari Malaysia... mana ada api dalam rumah. Saya belum ada pakaian tebal. So malam-malam sejuk je lah. Mau beli pakaian, tak tahulah bila.

Apa lagi yang baru? Ah...rumah ini sudah bertambah satu orang lagi penumpang. Isteri salah seorang kawan serumah saya baru sampai hari Isnin. Dari Cape Town, Arika Selatan Umur sama dengan saya. Jumpa dia tak banyak sangat lah. Tapi rasa dia okeh kut. Ada sikit sikit macam saya, konklusi dari perbualan semasa makan malam hari dia sampai. Adalah jamuan makan-makan sikit, tapi "VIP" sendiri yang masak. Saya makan je. Dia mau masak, okeh lah, saya makan. Oh, bes juga makanan dia. Banyak seafood dalam nasi dia. Dia macam saya, tak pandai sains, tak pandai matematik, percaya pada Tuhan. Suami dia pula terbalik, hanya percaya sains, dan langsung tidak percaya Tuhan. Tulah topik perbualan hari itu.

Kanak-kanak kat tempat kerja sudah mula sekolah, saya kena ambil yang paling kecil dan hantu itu dari sekolah setiap hari. Jumpa emak-emak kanak-kanak lain. Aiseh, memang rasa macam suri rumah lah masa tu setiap hari. Emak-emak lain berbual pasal anak-anak mereka. Saya cuba bawa buku baca semasa menunggu, tak mau berbual dengan sesiapa pun. Tapi mereka rasa pelik la, kenapa saya macam Cina, tapi ambil budak Afrika? Aih....

Kan tak da apa nak update.. tu je la... hari-hari sama saja... rindu kat kawan-kawan semua kat KJ...

My dearest Joel...

2008-09-12T08:33:00.004+01:00

Hello Joel, this is Xiao Yi!!!! Have you been a good boy?

Must eat, okay? Must take medicine when mummy or daddy give you medicine okay?:) If you take medicine and be a good boy, you will stop coughing soon....

Get well soon, Joel... Xiao Yi loves and misses you lots!!!!!!
Hugs and kisses....

Sick vs $$

2008-08-28T10:45:00.002+01:00

The children are off for their family holiday before school starts. So I am off for the week, yeay!
But being off for the week also means no $$$. Therefore, I have informed Starbucks in advance that I will be able to work the entire week.

And what is the worst thing that could happen, you think? Yeap, I get sick. It is awful, awful, awful. I hate it. Aghhh!! It was all pre-planned, pre-arranged. Everything was in place. And now it all isn't. Sob sob... Sunday evening, I started feeling weird. Monday morning I was feeling sickish. Come Monday night, I was having shivers and temperature in the night. I got up at 4 am to look on the internet for the nearest GP. First thing Tuesday morning, I am at the clinic registering myself (cursing myself also for not registering earlier, cos I had to wait for them to put me into the system), see the doctor who advised me to take a couple of days off because my throat and inside of my ears are all inflamed and swollen. Sigh....

Tuesday and Wednesday I rested, and on Thursday bright and early I called Starbucks... ready to go to work. When they heard my voice though (which still sounded really funny), they said not to worry and they've got me covered for the day. So they only want me to come in on Saturday.

I know, I know... there is no need to get all worked up. Except I am quite irritated and annoyed at myself for not being able to go to work!! Even when I feel I can... I guess it is perfectly understandable considering I will be dealing with food and beverages at Starbucks and a cough or a sneeze in the wrong direction will lead to many problems later on. So fair enough, I should just stay home then...

It just sucks to be sick :( Suckier to know there is no $$ coming in this week at all... AaaaaaaaAAaaaaAA!!!!!!!!

Try Hot Ribena

2008-08-26T22:22:00.002+01:00

Exactly what the title says... it is awesome, especially when you have flu or cold.

Recipe:

1) Pour a little Ribena into a mug
2) Pour boiling hot water to the brim (or as close as you can, cos you can't get enough of it)

Hot Ribena rocks!

The true story about the lil monsters...

2008-08-21T21:23:00.003+01:00

It is coming to the end of the third week I have 5 boys and occasionally, 1 baby girl with her mother around the house. And it has been absolutely CRAZY. At first, I thought it can't be that bad. If I can handle mfx, I can handle 5 boys, 1 baby girl and 1 annoying mother.

When I last blogged that I was stressed, that stress had carried on. Yesterday, when I was determined to put my foot down and tell them enough is enough, I am not getting paid any extra for the extra children and workload etc, the entire family was in havoc when I arrived in the morning. Drama from the annoying mother, and got my female employer really emotional and agitated, and I did not have a chance to say what I had to say.

Today, again...the moment I entered the house, my female employer - V, held my hand and led me to the dining room and closed the door. She told me she had asked them to pack up and leave the night before, but they had felt sorry for the children so could I please hang on for a couple more days? And she said "I'm begging you, please..." I felt really sorry for V, that she had such an irritating relative, so what else could I do but assure her it is okay? When she came home in the evening, I had to pat her on the back to tell her not to worry, the week is coming to an end.

Emo emo emo, here are the reasons why... sigh...

1) The cousins who had come to stay, Uyiosa and Irobosa had just lost their dad. Sudden death, nobody knows the reason yet. He's only in his early thirties. He just did not wake up one fine day. The children are confused and scared, and do not dare to return to the house where the incident had happened.

2) Their mother was too busy with funeral arrangements to take care of them, that was why they were brought from house to house, passed on from one relative to the other. And they just cry and cry and cry for their mummy. They misbehave on purpose, seeking attention. I really feel for them. How confused and upset they must be, suddenly losing dad and then mum not wanting them around!

3) Their mother is terrible. At first, when I first saw her... I thought "Poor woman..." and I truly wanted to help her. But then, true colours started to show. Not only she does not take care of her own children when she is around, she bitches on the phone complaining to people that "people" have not been sincere and genuine in helping her, that she trusts nobody but herself and all that crap. I mean, come on... whose house are you staying in? Whose food are you eating? Whose bed are you sleeping in? Whose phone are you using to bitch on? And who is taking care of your children for you while you BITCH on the bloody phone the entire afternoon, leaving your baby girl with FIVE boys who could have hurt her by accident meaning I have to look after 6 children instead.

And when she is not on the phone, she sleeps. Yes, the bloody woman SLEEPS!!! While her chlidren are misbehaving and thinking they can do anything now their mother is here, she sleeps! God helps those who helps themselves. I know I wanted to help her. I want to help the children. But her attitude just puts me off so much. I really can't help thinking what a terrible mother she is!!

AND she broke my house rule, yes one of my very important house rule.

NEVER WASTE FOOD!

She doesn't pay for any of the food in the house at all, and she just nicely sweeps the remainder of her food, and her childrens' if they don't finish into the bin. Bloody hell, I would really have liked to smack her. I tell the children over and over again, almost everyday...NEVER waste food. If you can't finish it, tell me... leave it. I will eat it. Or we will keep it for later. She just bloody comes and empties the plates into bins. And not just a little bit, a whole LOT! If she wasn't the mother of 3 kids and older than I am, I really would have given her a good long lecture.

4) The baby girl is absolutely adorable. Her name is Elaosa. 21 months, and she's just an angel. When her mother doesn't look after her, I do. And I can't just NOT look after her. THe boys play rough. You just have to watch her all the time. That's when it gets irritating I suppose. While I do love the girl, that doesn't mean the freaking mother takes if for granted that she doesn't need to look after her own baby. Sigh...

5) More people, more workload. I've been KO-ing lots since the extra children came around. I have grown to love them LOTS. And I don't want them to go. But it means extra loads of laundry, extra ironing, extra preparation of food, extra washing of plates.... a little extra of everything. I thought I would be okay, and I think I am okay... But by today, I have to admit, it is wearing me out.

That is it. My emo. Been malfunctioning after I get home from work. Just rotting in front of the TV. Eating junk food cos I'm too tired to cook proper meals etc. Feeling torn really. I love the children, don't want them to go. Yet, I think I need something more. $$ is a good motivation, but I don't want everything to be about $$$. Everyone here is telling me I should ask them for more $$. But I really feel it is almost inhumane to do so. So no, I haven't asked. It's just that the V and her husband already has so much on them, how could I just ask for more? I can see everyday that V is trying to keep up with her own life and helping out the annoying mother. V is hardly getting any rest herself. I just can't.

V just texted me now. Annoying mother is going tomorrow morning? I don't know what is going on. I hope all is okay at home, and no emo drama there. Poor V and husband and poor children who have lost their dad. But no pity for the annoying mother. I know it's mean of me to say so. But if you had seen her, you would agree with me for sure.

Milk and bread for tomorrow....

Untitled Emotions...

2008-08-14T01:19:00.001+01:00

Sebab-sebab Saya Tidak Masak kat KL

2008-08-13T22:26:00.001+01:00

Well, well, well....seeing how my dearest friends have been "asking" why I have not cooked for them, this blog is specially dedicated to those who feels left out from my "experimental cooking" :)

Tsk tsk...takkanlah saya tak nak masak untuk rakan rakan sekalian...? Aisehh, apasal fikir macam tu!!

1) Saya kan kerja kat mfx bila kat malaysia, bila balik rumah... sudah penat, sudah KO... cam ner nak masak ya?

2) Makan mamak kan sedap:) Saya tak pandai masak mamak!! Perut kambing... mmmmmmmm, nasi goreng ikan masin, nasi lemak...

3) Makan kat luar pun tak mahal sangat. Oklah... RM 5 - RM 7 ya? Kat sini £5 - £7! Tu pun makan yang murah dan biasa. Kalau makan yang bes, £20 seorang lah. Kat sini, kalau makan kat luar tiap tiap hari boleh jadi bankrup. BETUL... saya tak tipu. Kawan serumah saya yang kaya raya pun cakap macam tu. Dia orang pun buat bekal sanwic bawa pi tempat kerja mereka.

4) Saya kan tak pandai masak, takut nanti kawan kawan saya cirit birit ke? Nanti banyak kena ambil MC pula. Kat sini orang kan banyak minum alkohol...dah minum tu tak sakit lah. Sudah bunuh kuman pun. Saya kan runsing pasal kesihatan kawan kawan semua...

:)

Tapi bila saya balik nanti, dah pandai masak nanti... bolehlah tu!! Kawan-kawan sekalian masih pergi "International" kah? Dapat papadum free ke kena bayar?:) I miss you guys and all the dinner times... xOXoXOxo

p/s: Eh eh, saya kan ada buat kek coklat/mocha!! Dah lupa ke? Lolz...

What 5 lil monsters can do to you....

2008-08-12T23:55:00.001+01:00

For once, since I arrived in this country...I felt stressed after work. Yes, something I haven't had for a while. For about a week now, instead of 3 boys I have 5 boys to look after. I love them, but... sometimes, like today... I really want to pull all my hair out.

Chuks 8, Ugo 6, Chidi 3. Now there is also Uyi 7, and Irobosa 5. At ONE same moment, it is possible that 3 of them are shrieking and jumping up and down, crying, talking to me, telling me different things at the top of their voices, trying to drown out the other two... and 2 of them are kicking and slapping each other and all I could do is raise my voice above all the noise to get some attention. Even then, it only lasts at most 2 seconds before it all resumes.

And when I stand in between the kicking and slapping ones, I get punched or kicked as if I do not exist while they continue to tear at each other. And man, they really kick and smack real hard. Not kiddy punches or kiddy kicks yeah. I think they can beat up robbers and muggers real good with their little hands and legs.

Today also, I have collected in my head easily their wide vocabulary of foul language. The entire day they have been screaming and wailing and swearing at the top of their voices. I really don't know what most of them means... but it sure sounds insulting and the way they say it really is offensive.

Their favourite number one thing to call and insult each other today is "Dummie nine nine one". Okay, I haven't googled it. It's probably something really bad, I don't know. But they start tearing at each other as soon as one says it to another. I've only said "OMG" like a million times today in my head while they do that over and over and over again.

When they are playing on the Nintendo Wii, they have three remote controls so 3 of them play at one time. That means 3 of them will be whacking each other, crying out LOUD in pain and end in tears every five minutes or so. Then when I threaten to switch the Wii off, I get a SUPER LOUD "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.............!!!!!" like a tragic cry. Seriously... then stop whacking each other and stop jumping and stop screaming at each other. "Okay, sorry Jasmine..." then *WHACKKKK* "Owwww!!!" Tears start running down the boys' cheeks and they come to me showing me their hand or face or head again that's been whacked. I said "Stand away from each other PLEASEEEEEE??" "OK, sorry Jasmine..." I turn around to pick up the laundry and then I hear "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YOU DUMMIE NINE NINE ONE!!" " DON'T CALL ME DUMMIE NINE NINE ONE YOU STINKY POO POO!!"
*Slap, smack, punch, kick*

This goes on the entire day, except for when they are sitting down eating... Even then, "Jasmine, I don't like onion rings", "Okay, finish your chips then please" , "Jasmine, is there more pizza after this?", "Jasmine, can I have more ketchup please?", "Jasmine, he's kicking me under the table", "Jasmine, can I have Ribena flease?"(the flease boy pleads as if in great suffering), "Jasmine, can I have orange juice please?", "WHO LIKES PEPPERONI? THEY'RE DISGUSTINGGG!!", "I feel like throwing up..." , "JASMINE, HE'S GOING TO VOMIT!!!" *All scream in horrific fear of vomit*

*Splat* A huge piece of food drops on the carpet and all eyes look at me in anticipation seeing what I will do. "Sighhhhhhhhhhh..... (breathe Jasmine, breathe) Okay, who dropped that?" "NOT ME! NOT ME! NOT ME! NOT ME!" I look under the table... "Okay, pick that up now please...", I said in my calmest possible voice "IT'S UGO!! IT'S UGO!" "SHUT UP YOU DUMMIE NINE NINE ONE!""YOU SHUT UP!" "YOU SHUT UP" "Jasmine, he's asking me to shut up... mummy says he's not supposed to tell me to shut up".... (OMG.......)

The unpredictable weather today didn't help as the boys all like to go out to play in the back garden, but it's wet outside so they can't. Makes it worse when they stay indoors all day long. Also of course, that means I got to go in and out to put out the laundry and then to bring them all in again because it suddenly begins to pour, and when I run out to collect the laundry the boys shout in joy thinking they can all go outside and a mad rush to put on all their shoes at the same time, and I had to shout to tell them that it is raining and please to go inside. I don't know? Do little boys not have good eyesight? Can't they see it's raining? Sighhh.....I get all wet in the rain after bringing in the laundry, put down the basket and I see one of them crying and I asked, "Well, what's wrong now?" "YOU WON'T LET US OUTSIDE!!" My mouth fell open, not knowing what to say for a second. I caused him to cry now? (OMG) Seriously?

It wasn't too bad when it was only three boys to look after. But when the cousins - Uyiosa and Irobosa is around, the day can either be totally horrifying like today - or they can be extreme angels all at the same time. They just affect each other so easily. One screams, and all 4 others scream. One cries, and all 4 others are cry babies for the day. It only takes ONE to be angelic, and all 4 others will try to be the same. Today...just isn't the day.

All is good when daddy/ uncle finally comes home. I didn't even hear him as I was busy cleaning/ hoovering the room full of lego pieces and food crumbs. My stress levels dropped almost immediately...and realised that it was six o'clock. It was awesome how when the man steps into the house, the boys fell silent...

Ah well... that's today:) Fingers crossed for a better tomorrow:)

Another successful experiment in cooking...

2008-08-11T00:06:00.000+01:00

Mostly, my creation... or rather, experiment heh...

Dinner menu consists of:

1) Grilled peppers
2) "Experimental but Yummy Special" Cod Fish
3) Joloff rice (this is VERY complicated to make. I had to buy THE BLENDER JUG to make it) hehe....
4) Beer or wine
5) Brandy bananas with vanilla ice cream for dessert

The dinner spread...

Main course... fish and rice

Side... grilled peppers

ALCOHOL...as my housemate said, "If you can't cook, just use lots of alcohol" (roll eyes...)

There was also entertainment after dinner :) Lead singer - Gene, lead guitarist - Andy
WOOT!!!

I am SO domesticated...

2008-08-10T23:45:00.000+01:00

Look at my new toy... a blender jug!!! I rushed to Tesco after work last week so I could cook joloff rice for yet another dinner get together. Dinner had been planned specially for a Polish colleague of mine from Starbucks, it was her off day so I thought, why not? :) And of course not forgetting Gene and my lovely housemates...

I stayed up and cooked till bout midnight, just the rice!

Dinner pictures coming up....!!! :)

A good nannying day...

2008-08-05T00:12:00.000+01:00

*Touchwood*, the boys are not angels like this everyday... but today they were...SUPER ANGELS...*kisses for the boys*

Arrive, good morning greetings..HELLO JASMINE!!! :)

Wash dishes from breakfast...

Bye bye mummy, ("Mummmm, can I play the Nintendo Wii please? Mummmm, can I play the Nintendo Wii please?" Mummy replies the little boy... "Yes, but LATER okay?" (about at least 5 times)

Change bed sheets and duvet covers, boys start a fight...they got separated - one upstairs and one downstairs.

First day of lessons, the boys moan and groan. Before today, it's been the big box and the small box (computer and tv). Nintendo Wii, online games, Tamagotchi ALL DAY LONG. But today, the parents and I decided it's time to do something more no? Big box and small box all day is no good for children hehe:) Fingers crossed, I know they are going to hate me cos of these lessons.
Prepare for mathematic lessons (lolz) cos I suck at maths myself, but okay I can do add and subtract okay? And some simple times tables...sometimes.

Do some serious lessons for a while, with kicking under table and annoying sounds from all 3 different boys. If it's not one it's the other. Suddenly all of them needs to go wee wee lots. And you can't say no. Little boy gets to trace lines....with his eyes not on the lines, but everywhere else.

Eldest boy wants to play the organ, wow! He only said no a million times before. Today he's got books ready and wants to learn an entire song. And he did:) I'm proud of him. Distracted or most probably just wanted to get out of maths, but I understand... I hate maths, so it's okay:)

Prepare sandwiches for snack time
Okay everybody, let's eat! "Jasmine, I don't want skin on the bread"... "I do! I do!!" (roll eyes... I didn't ask who wants skin on the bread or not) Just eat!

Iron laundry...

Youngest boy continues asking "Can I play the Nintendo Wii please? Jasmineeeee...can I play the Nintendo Wii please? Jasmineeee....." After a while, it becomes a buzz in your ear, and he's also used to talking to himself cos after I answer him like ten times, I stop answering... and he goes on and on...But today, he said "Please" instead of "Flease". He likes to say "Flease"...

Okay, so finally he gets to play the Wii while I prepare lunch...

Lunchtime!!! Stop talking please, and eat please... "But I'm not hungry!" or "Can I go now?" or "But I'm full already" when they have barely started eating. They end up with a not so clever trick by stuffing their entire mouth full of food, then say they have finished and go spit it out in the bin. Heh, so now I make them sit and swallow and open their mouths before they can go away from the table:)

Hang out laundry of the day (today it's the bedsheets)

Do more lessons, it's not easy to get the boys to even sit down in their chairs for a minute ...They think it's funny yeah... (roll eyes)

Time to go out to play...I iron some more.. then hmm might as well clean the kitchen floor
Kids run in ,"We're done playing outside!!" with dirty shoes, so the floor is dirty again
Feed them some more cos they're hungry... as they ARE hungry all the time except when it's the proper times to eat.. Sighh....

"I want to watch Harry Potter!!I want to watch Harry Potter!!"said the youngest boy. Normally he says "Harry Potter's ugly, he's disgusting. I'm scarrreeeddddd..." (Okayyyy.....nice change, we can actually sit down to watch a movie? Great:)

Put DVD on, little boy falls asleep... wow, even greater! Since when does he fall asleep when his two brothers are around? Yippee!! Put pampers on him:) Beautifooool.... my job is done! Daddy comes home!!!

HELLO DAD!!! BYEEEE JASMINE!!!:)

The children are lovely, and today I realise I am starting to become quite domestic. Kinda scary... ah well, wish me luck! Hopefully the boys are as good tomorrow and everyday as they are today:)

Dedicated to my awesome girlfriends...

2008-08-02T01:15:00.000+01:00

I miss you girls and aunties so much.... MUAHHHH.....
Girl power... aunty talk....miss you all so much...
All you aunties...I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

The moon is very big, bright and round tonight...

2008-07-15T22:47:00.000+01:00

Today is my sixth day at work in a row. Yep, and I'm ready to collapse, except I'm not... I do so want to collapse and rest, but I can't...

Because I had 9 coffee drinks today. Yes, NINE. Two personal, and seven for work purposes. Geez, if I had known I would be drinking so much coffee for work today, I wouldn't have had 2 for myself!! Normally I do not have any at all. I would choose strawberries and cream, or raspberry or mango drinks. But TODAY I wanted to try some coffee, and ended up drinking more than I ever imagined I would in a day.

I only finished my 8 hour shift, waited 3 hours for training, did an hour and a half training session and walked home really quickly while talking aloud to myself all the way, and still, wide awake.

First, I had my 10 mins break. I really had to drag myself out of bed today, so I thought.. why not? Let's try the Caramel Macchiato. Then I had my lunch, and I tried the Caramel Latte. At noon, I was informed that it is a special occasion today. The district manager was visiting today, and we were going to have a coffee tasting session at our store for the customers, and of course us partners as well. We tried 3 different kinds of coffee, with fruits, nuts, berries, cheese, gingerbread etc. We had the Sumatra, Columbia and Ethiopia. Then, my store assistant manager wanted me to try espresso shots. One full good one, and one dead one, so that I know what they are, and I do not use dead espresso shots in the drinks I make. Okay, so that in all was 7 drinks.

Training wasn't too bad. I had expected a long boring session of talking and demo. Instead, I was sitting amidst a group of Polish hysterical girls, laughing and talking loudly in their language, not paying attention to the training, and they are all from 3 different Starbucks stores in town, including mine. That's the Northend, Centrale and Whitgift stores. Of course, there were a few people who were not Polish, but our numbers are minimal. By the end of the session, I was speaking perfect Polish English. "After you blend, you throw away them" kind of language.. hehe. We were introduced to 3 new drinks for the summer launch, and the drinks included one suggestive looking food which made the girls even more hysterical and hyper.

Thank goodness I am finally off from work for tomorrow... :)

The moon is so very big and bright and round and beautiful tonight.

My cookings...

2008-07-10T19:52:00.000+01:00

A couple of my experiments in the kitchen... :P

This is fish/ seafood chowder, inspired by the Lim Coopers. I made a big pot for more than one, fortunately it was edible. We had garlic butter loaf with it..Beer was on the house as usual, sponsored by Andy...

This is shiok sendiri mushroom, ham and tomato rice...
Must be improved, to be cooked for more than one in the future...:)

St. Gertrudes Roman Catholic Church...

2008-07-07T11:55:00.000+01:00

My little TY beanie bear...

2008-07-07T11:13:00.000+01:00

Bloom the Bear

When pretty flowers are in bloom
It helps to erase winter's gloom
Beautiful flowers everywhere
Are sure to bring you lots of cheer!

Ooh La La....Mexican dinner!! :D

2008-07-06T00:39:00.000+01:00

The first couple of weeks after I arrived in this country, all I had was fast food. And very soon got sick of it. Then after, I realised that I actually am interested in cooking. Since then, a sort of barter system started going... :) I cook for my housemates and Gene, my housemates cook for me and Gene, I cook for Gene, Gene cooks for me:)

Different dishes from different cultures, guinea pigs for each other... (well, mostly my food is for them anyway), experimenting a variety of food...:)

Today's special was Mexican made by Andy - Tacos!! With Tortilla Chips and beer!!

Yummy yum yum........hmmmmm........

The 2008 Wimbledon Championships...

2008-07-03T22:40:00.000+01:00

Last Thursday, the guys took the day off, and I was not working anyway... so we woke up super early, and took the 7:30 morning bus and tram ride to Wimbledon...

This is just walking towards goodness knows where after we got off the cab...

Ah, the queue...

So many people sitting in lines already???

Omg, yes... and we joined them... I think some of them camped here overnight?? We were like in the fifth zig zag in the queue or something...

Robin, me, Dennis

Robin, Andy, Dennis with their queue cards and beer...

The sun was super hot, and we were all roasting... we wore our jackets not because it was cold, but because the sun was scorching HOT on our skin!!

Ahh....guess who's bored?

I did not do this... please do not sue me...

We finally get to walk towards the gates...yippee!! We're moving, we're moving...

First glimpse from outside the gates...

Then we had to go through security checks like at the airport, get our tickets...

and WE'RE IN!!!!!!

Board says who plays who and where... I just followed the guys. They already knew where they wanted to go...

This is court number 19...

We went into Court No.18 to watch Ladies Singles Miss V. Zvonareva vs Miss T. Tanasugarn. The guys patiently explained how the game works... it was my first time to watch a tennis match, and I had no idea how the points and everything else works... Dennis explained the best...He's a great teacher:)

View from our seats, we can also see Court No. 19 because we are sitting high up...

Very hungry, so got burger and chips before the game started...

Watching my first ever live tennis match begin...

That is Miss V.Zvonareva serving... she's quite LCLY...:)

The umpire and photographers...

The audience inside and outside the court...

Hmmm, some tennis fanatic with tennis balls stuck all over his cap...interestinggggg....

Miss V. Zvonareva from Russia

Miss T. Tanasugarn from Thailand - she played really well. She got injured, but played on with awesome passion and good spirits....Miss V. Zvonareva was pretty ill- temepered, saw her hitting her own head with her tennis racquet... quite scary.

Game over, Miss T. Tanasugarn won!! Hurrah for the woman!!! Too bad for Mss LCLY:)

We walked around a bit, and took a break...

Had super yummy strawberries and cream, Andy says they are not to be missed at Wimbledons... and yes, they're yummy yum...

Watched gentlemen singles next... it was Cilic from Croatia vs Nieminen from Finland...
There was a bunch of gentlemen dressed up in business coats and all, cheering for Nieminen throughout the game... YAKORRRR!!! YAKORRR!!! OI OI OI!!!! (It was actually Jarkko, his name...:P)

This is Cilic...

This is YAKKORRR!!! OI OI OI!!! His skills were amazing, when he played, it looked like he was flying from place to place... amazing amazing...

For all of us who couldn't get into the centre court (because we only got £20 tickets), and IF you want to watch what's in the centre court, you can sit on the grass and watch a BIG screen. Duhh... better off sitting at home watching TV then.... that's Maria Sharapova on the screen by the way:)

We went back to Court No.18 to wait to watch the William sisters, but the sisters weren't playing yet... it was Stepanek (Czech Republic) vs Troicki (Serbia)

Troicki was injured at the ankle, but he kept on playing... they really go all out!! He removed his entire ankle support and wrap and played on till the end...

Mr. Radek Stepanek from Czech Republic

Next up, not the William sisters yet... it was Paul-Henri Mathieu vs Jeremy Chardy, both from France...

Chardy getting ready....

The tough competition begins...I'm on Mathieu's side:)

Mathieu preparing to serve... he's really very very good...

The weather started getting really chilly, and it started to rain. The William sisters got moved to another court, so we didn't manage to see them after all. We got the tram back to Croydon again, had some Indian dinner, and ran home in the rain...A truly eventful, one of its own, maybe the only once in my lifetime - live Wimbledon Championships... I am very fortunate and grateful that I had the opportunity to be there...

I am employed...

2008-06-30T09:58:00.000+01:00

This is where I work.., am preparing to go for my shift soon. Today is day number 4 at work. I love it, it's what I always wanted to do...
:)

I went for my trial/probation 3 hours last Monday. Right after I finished my 3 hours, I was confirmed immediately, and was hugging the store assistant manager. :) I came home and texted Gene and my housemates about the news:) Also announced that I will cook a simple celebratory dinner for everyone:) (Yeah, I know.. shiok sendiri.. :P )

I decided to cook beef and pork sausages, Chinese style mushroom omelette and have rice and cherry tomatoes on the side...:)

My super nice housemate went out to get some rose wine for the celebration. We talked for hours during and after dinner about all sorts of food, durians, politics, religion, but mostly durians. That was another wonderful day for me...

A Malaysian super yummy dinner...

2008-06-28T22:22:00.000+01:00

We met up with Bak's brother last Friday, and he brought us to this super yummy Malaysian food restaurant - C&R Restaurant in Chinatown. It is REALLLYY REALLLYY yummy.....check it out!!

This is my Malaysian Nasi Goreng...

From above: Kampong Style Nasi Goreng and Nasi Lemak

Si beh ho chiak!!:D

An arty underground tube station...

2008-06-28T21:23:00.000+01:00

Very arty, wish there were more...they definitely make the underground a little less depressing...

Dandelion...

2008-06-28T21:11:00.000+01:00

I've only read about dandelions in books before, here I see a proper big one...I tried to blow away the dandelion.. it wasn't easy...:) I had to take many big breaths and still I was not completely successful...:)

Counting my blessings...

2008-06-22T23:56:00.000+01:00

Mass this morning was lovely. I had not been aware that instead of travelling all the way into town, there was a church right at the end of the park that is across the street from my home. St. Gertrude's Catholic Church, Purley. It was a nice walk along the side of the park and playground, where children played before going in for mass. I had learnt from Mark, Alban's brother that in most churches here in the UK, only one mass is sung and the rest, recited. And I found out that at St. Gertrude's, the Sunday 10 am mass was a Family Mass (sung) - as stated in its website.

There were no organs, but there was a choir, a flutist and a guitarist. The choir was fantastic, and the entire music ensemble sat on the upper deck in the church, filling the church with wonderful magical music throughout mass.

I only stumbled upon this church, when I was out to get some food for dinner on Saturday evening. I wasn't feeling very well then, with lots of things going through my mind. But praise the Lord. Gene alarmed me when he said "Look, a Catholic church!!" My spirits immediately lifted and I truly felt then, that it was the Lord's will that had brought me to this place.

His plan, His arrangement. It was true, I had many other choices of places to live in, to look at, to view and select. But I had made a hasty, impulsive decision in my head somehow to pick this one, and justifying my decision by consulting various adults that I was doing the right thing. And of course, they all know that once I had my mind set, they might as well support me.

Given the fact of course, that I also had some wonderful people who were already in the UK to check this place out for me, making sure the people I was going to live with were decent and nice. The only concern they had, was the size of the room - which I have come to like. It is after all, my own litte personal space, and I am not claustrophobic. A bigger room might have felt empty and knowing me, loneliness might loom over me causing me to have bigger issues later on.

God works in mysterious ways, and He will make a way that's best for us, even when you least expect it. Praise and thank the Lord, Alleluia...

The Pond...

2008-06-21T21:17:00.000+01:00

- 15 June 2008 -

It was simply a beautiful place...

Some more places I've been to last week...

2008-06-21T20:09:00.000+01:00

- 13 June 2008 -

Out in London, walking and walking and walking.... before Gene and I went for the Baroque period concert at St. Martins-in-the-fields. Many of these places I've only seen on the Monopoly board, got me excited when I finally got there in person...

Oxford Circus - this is like Bukit Bintang in KL, super busy, people walk really fast and you feel the stress, hustle and bustle of the city...see, no one's smiling. They're obviously stressed...Oh, yeah, lots of shopping places here too ;) LOTS!!! I just didn't have the $$$...ah well...

Regent Street

Picadilly Circus - spot me!! Don't know why everyone sits around it... It's just overcrowded!

Pall Mall

St. James's Park...looks like a fairytale land behind me doesn't it?

Walked through the park and came to this amazing view of the Horse Guards Parade - it's an amazing place. It really is!! The very next day after I was there, they held the Queen's birthday celebration there...I watched it on tv:)

Going through the Horse Guards Parade arches...EMOOOO

At the gate, there he was! I asked to take a picture, and he nodded solemnly:)

More weird stuff...

2008-06-19T23:19:00.000+01:00

Then there's this place that sells vitamin water... the entire shop is filled with coloured water bottles...this is a picture from outside the window... it's so weird I don't dare go in...

1) The pink coloured one - It's called "power-c": dragonfruit (c +b's) - helps you beat your granny in an arm "something"...

2) The orange coloured one - It's called "essential": orange-orange (c + calcium) - kick morningitus into touch

3) The yellow coloured one - It's called "spark": tropical fruits (b + guarana) - spank the backside of life

4) The semi-transparent coloured one - It's called "multi-v": lemonade (b-zinc) - more vitamins than you can shake a stick?

5) The purple coloured one - It's called "revive": fruit punch (b + potassium) - wake up like last night never happened

6) The red coloured one - It's called "defence": raspberry - apple (c + zinc) - keeps you perk....something...:P

That's what I got from the pic:)

Weird Stuff...

2008-06-19T21:12:00.000+01:00

The Lim Coopers showed us a mutated strawberry they found while we were there for dinner last Saturday...It's got 9 fingers....and no one dared eat it...

The mutated strawberry

Sunny days and interviews...

2008-06-19T15:56:00.000+01:00

It's super hot today, as been most days since I arrived. Am actually dressed in my spaghetti strap tops most days, and today... I'm down to shorts instead of jeans. Everyone is telling me... "Enjoy the sunshine while it's here. You won't like it later in the year..." It is hot yes, oh but I do so love that the sun sets only about 10 pm here:) So you can nap at 7 or 8 pm and get up at 9pm and it's still bright outside:) Isn't it great?:)

Been walking lots today, it's really hot outside... and I'm just home for a break and will be out again soon. For an interview... fingers crossed real tight and wish me luck!

Starbucks called up today too:) Cindy, if you've been praying for me, thank you...lol:) Starbucks interview is tomorrow. So wish me luck people...:) Miss all of you lots...

Trust his heart...

2008-06-18T23:15:00.000+01:00

I sat in the toilet today, and...... everything went past my head in quick flashes, how I got here. It is still unbelievable to myself until right now, this very moment that I am in a faraway country, living with two new lovely housemates in my cosy little room. It's all happening real fast, really really fast...and I am happy. Because time flies by the fastest when you are happy, and time has certainly just gone past me like a matter of seconds.

Praise the Lord that I am here, and I cherish and embrace the wonderful moments and blessings the great Lord has bestowed upon me. The Lord is so great, so wonderful and what He has planned for me is still a mystery. I do not know what tomorrow may bring, and I believe that He has got it all planned out. And that everything happens for a reason. Whatever it may be.

"God is too wise to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind ...

so when you don't understand, when you don't see his plan,

when you can't trace his hand, trust his heart..."

Love the Lord and remember Him always...

Day out in town...and Starbucks CoFFee!!:D

2008-06-17T16:56:00.000+01:00

The day I was walking in town from shop to shop till my feet were gonna rot, we took our break in Starbucks... again...:) It's approx £2 plus per drink...:)

Starbuckkssss!!!

Gene doing his weird-ness in Starbucks...

Khamis Lepas Saya Masak-Masak Sedikit...:)

2008-06-17T16:23:00.000+01:00

-12 June 2008, Dinner-

Gene masak fish and chips, saya masak cendawan:)

Onions, mushrooms and carrots!!:)

I didn't really know what I was doing, so I added some light soy sauce, and some black soy sauce...then cincai fry!!

Mushrooms...hmmm... looks yummy right?

Food is ready...Fish and Chips and Mushrooms!!

Jom makan!!:D Yeay!!:D

Going to church....

2008-06-17T13:55:00.000+01:00

I went to church last Sunday. It was..."wordy".

Okay, I guess I am not supposed to judge or comment on how church is... but here's how I feel...

I went in all excited. I got my mass book and hymn book. The church started filling up. The Benediction was still going on when I entered. It was quiet, not many people have come in yet. No one sat in my row, as all the other rows started filling up.

Mass is starting. No opening hymn. Okay... oh, no singing of Gloria, okay... we recited it. Readings and Gospel and then the sermon. We also recited Alleluia. By then, there were people sitting with me by the way. Heh. Observation: Lots of black hair, a couple blondes, a couple brunettes... Mostly, not locals.

No singing of offertory hymns either. Okayyy....no Holy, holy, no Lamb of God.... we all recited EVERYTHING. Including the Lord's prayer. Right. Now I get it. No singing in this mass. I craned my neck and looked around the church. Well, it is sitting right there. The organ. No one's playing it. And certainly people are not reciting the prayers in unison.

Holy Communion time - The entire church stood up. I was thinking OMG... this is like Muar 15 years ago maybe? By now, in Malaysia I believe we all have a system of going row by row, but oh certainly not here. Without any order, everyone just walked to the front. Okayyy...... I stayed a while, but then everyone was just going from queue to queue whichever's shorter. I'm like... huh? So okay, I go too.

Of course, no ending hymn.
Mass was mass in the most basic way it could ever be.

Praise the Lord, no offence meant. It is a beautiful church with lots of people who love the Lord. I mean no harm expressing how I feel. It would be so much lovelier to have music and merry making in the House of God. And maybe, it was just my love for music. And I really felt it missing during mass on Sunday...

Croydon, Surrey

2008-06-17T13:38:00.000+01:00

Some pics of Croydon town... I know I know, they all look like shopping places only that I've been...heh, it's very not true. They happen to be the pictures I snapped:) meaning place I've been visiting, YET being able to resist the tons of temptations...

I quote Wikipedia... "Croydon is a large town and major commercial centre in South London..." and of course more information can be found at http://www.croydon.gov.uk/

:)

The amazing internet speed...

2008-06-17T08:07:00.000+01:00

First, I thought... okay, this is like the first time I'm downloading series. Normally I just copy it from nabeigh Niap or Mother. Like Grey's or Heroes and all that.
So, can't do that now I'm here. Gene's got his own downloading to do.. that sort of means I got to do it myself.. and Wow... one season a night. Pretty good eh..
Then Gene started two at the same time, and voila when I wake up the next morning... I got two seasons!! Now I can't catch up with the watching. Pretty cooooolll.......
Okay yeah, haven't watched Sex and the City before... so that's what I'm watching now.. Yippee!!

Jobs Jobs Jobs...

2008-06-15T13:19:00.000+01:00

Applied...or asked about for that is:

1) Starbucks - I've sent in my official application form the second day I got here. My application was put on a big stack of all the other million applications they receive everyday. The starting pay for Starbucks is £5.80 per hour. Not bad I suppose, then you get promoted and stuff. Anyway, if I don't hear back from them within 14 days (that's what they say in the forms), that's it. They are pretty efficient I think.
2) Oasis - a random boutique in Croydon, they just finished recruiting.
3) Ann Summers - a random lingerie boutique in Croydon, not hiring.
4) Tesco Purley - not recruiting until end of the year.
5) GAME - a game shop in Croydon, not recruiting until end July.
6) TopShop - not recruiting unless someone resigns.
7) Dorothy Perkins - Same as TopShop, but maybe they'll hire around Christmas time again.
8) Toby Carvery - a restaurant/inn right outside where I live - chefs vacancies available only.
9) Vue - cinema in Croydon that is super empty, I think it's haunted or something. No vacancy at the branch nearby.
10) Tiger Tiger - a pub in town, they are recruiting, but I chickened out and did not send in my application cos I was worried bout my safety. Lolz.. I might actually apply though, if money is tight really.
11) Whitgift Customer Service Information Point - This is like Parkson or Isetan kinda place, God, the ladies that sit there look SUPER bored. Anyway, I did ask, not recruiting until July too.
12) A Christian bookstore - they just finished recruiting.
13) WH Smith - Also a bookstore, they also just finished recruiting. By when I was like "Whoa, did I arrive just a week too late or what? A lot of these people are telling me they just FINISHED recruiting..."
14) Lush - Something like Body Shop where they sell soaps and aroma therapy stuff, again..they just finished recruiting. Try again maybe Christmas time...
15) A couple more random places in town - boutiques mostly... none of which are hiring.

Who would think it'd be that tough to get an odd job huh?

On the third morning I was here, as I was walking from my place to Gene's though...some sort of magic happened, I met someone. Okay, I won't say more... can't say more. I'll tell you guys when and if it happens. :) Fingers and toes crossed it happens...um, yeah thought it's nothing spectacular or anything really...Cross 'em!!!!

In Weird Desperation for a Toaster

2008-06-15T12:52:00.000+01:00

Okay yes, I'm bored and I'm making annoying noises and weird movements and irritating the hell out of Gene...I don't think I want to stay at home, but I'm too poor to go out you know... So I've started shopping online. OMG.... guess what I'm buying... a Toaster!! Yeay!!
I'm bidding for it on ebay... why am I buying a toaster? I don't knowwww.....there'a a perfectly good grill and oven and stove at my place, but I'm so bored I'm buying a toaster.

But, but...... it really is a nice looking toaster you know...

Seee? Don't you think it really looks nice, lovely and classic? Okay.... I'll stop bidding now. If I don't win the bid I'll go to Cash Converters and get one tomorrow:) Cos I called the shop today, and they are closed, otherwise I'll so be there already.

Officially 1 week since my arrival...

2008-06-15T11:49:00.000+01:00

Okay, my feet are rotting from walking lots and lots and lots so much so that I am limping, sometimes. Especially when it's cold. But it warms up then they're okay. They just go weird on me man. Seriously... geez, if it's not the right foot, it's the left, oh then it's the right again.. the left is perfect for a while, then the right is good and the left starts to hurt. Okay yeah... so I think I need to stop walking for a bit... and today I will just sit around the wholeeeeeee day.

Tesco is HUGEEEE in Purley, the little town where I stay. It also opens 24 hours:) Um yeah, big means lots of stuff to buy, and you feel like you want to buy everything, but as usual you can't.

And really, Purley is a very very nice and quaint little place. I think I am starting to love it. Also, you know names like "Purley" and "Croydon" just sounds nice already, and you already want to live there. There are places with horrible names like "Embankment" or "Therapia Lane" or "Ealing". I don't know how those places look like, but I already do not like the names, hence I do not think I will be very happy staying there...

I had dinner at the Lim Coopers yesterday at their place in Putney. It was a very contemporary little place in London, compared to the cosy little traditional place I have in Purley and also Gene's in Croydon. Dinner was "refreshing"... with Nachos and dips, anchovies, chowder, chicken, asparagus with bacon, salad and some champagne. Then we looked at a HUGE cosmos book that was "untouchable" (because all the pages are printed full in black and leaves fingerprints) that belongs to Gene's younger cousin...Got home only around midnight...then I did my "Private Practice" marathon till the sun came up....Got startled when my "jie fu" rang me about 10:30 am. Gosh... I just went to bed man...he's in Austria for some business, but it's very nice to hear get a call from family:)

I also officially completed my public transport experience yesterday. I had taken the trains, the busses, the underground, and yesterday... the TRAM. Wheee!!

All in a day's work....!!

2008-06-13T13:13:00.000+01:00

- 09 June 2008-

Did not waste any time in getting into town:) Off to London we go...!!!

Jakun already...take picture in the train - National Rail it's called :)

Ah, this is the REAL Victoria Underground station - The Tube!:) Again...I very "sua ku" so had to take a picture in front of the sign...Changed a couple of lines and.....

Whoaaaaaa.....it's not just a building. It's the BIG BEN!! I heard the clock strike 4pm!:) Awesome!!

Across the bridge to take a pic of me and the Big Ben...together gether:)

Across the road on the other side from Big Ben, is the Eye of London.

Jas and Gene below the Eye of London. Hot hot hot!! Didn't want to go into the capsules. Each round takes 30 minutes to finish...

Next to the Eye of London, the London County Hall. Had a movie exhibition inside, but costs 14 pounds for admission:) Heh...no wayyyyy...not yet anway:)

County of London Founding Stone

Super hot and thirsty. Starbucks break!! Gene was trying to suck in the cream with his nose...
Starbucks cheap here nehhh....

Next stop...Trafalgar Square...Heaps of people...

Also heaps of people taking pics with the lions. Me too!! On it's ass...:P

The lions are guarding this thing here...

Cabs look super cute here. All of em are the same kind, but colourful :)
Nooo....didn't take cab. Super ex!! Walk lahhhh.....

Chinatown!! Yeay!!

Oooh, Leicester Square!!!:) All the places I've only seen on the Monopoly Board Game... I'm here!!

Ah, here's the juicy part....brace yourselves:) XXX DVDs, Pole Dancing, Adult Bars, Tattoists etc at the SOHO!! Super sexy lingerie... hmmmm.........

And of course, I remember my dear ah pa & ma (the KJ ones) hehe...
Here's a picture for your enjoyment.....mmmmmmmm........

Okay, then my feet started to rot slowly.... so we went back to Chinatown to eat. Cheap food, but they throw the plates and chopsticks around. Stressful man...the "ngau yok hor fun" sucks!! The hor fun is white colour dey....they just pour the egg and beef on top of raw kuey tiaw... no more Chinatown food!!!!!!

Finally arriving in the faraway land...

2008-06-13T01:07:00.000+01:00

After more than 24 hours of travelling, I finally arrived at the destination - Heathrow, London. 8th June, 12:15 pm. Phew...and it was HOT!!! The sun was burning, and I was sweating like a pig the moment I got off the plane. I had to remove my jacket cos of the heat. 28 degrees the car metre says...:P

The Heathrow terminal wasn't awesome or anything...KLIA is much better!:)

Strapped in the back seat...yay!! On the way to the house...:D

The house was a pretty sight indeedy...white rose bushes!! With nice nice smell:)

Transit at the Abu Dhabi International Airport

2008-06-12T23:15:00.001+01:00

I arrived at Abu Dhabi at the stroke of midnight. I had to wait for my flight transit which was at 7:30 am. 7 hours to spend in the airport... I had read feedback on the internet about the airport. Smoky, no resting area, no shops, no cafetarias... oh, but I was surprised. It had turned out better than I imagined:)

First, there were lots of people... no places to sit or rest...

The inside of the building was rather special though as you can see...football sorta patterned tiles in a dome like structure...oh YESSS!!! Found a place to sit:) Next to me was a group of pilots. Nice people they are, but they were exclaiming at Skype, so I think they must really be in the cockpits a lot. Then they slept, and I slept with them. Felt more "secure" somehow, compared to the rest of the dodgy looking people around.

I decided to go down to Oasis cafe to redeem my complimentary Etihad Airways dinner... but because it was past midnight, I could only get "refreshments" (roll eyes)

As you can see, I got really bored...

Whoa...the time finally came for us to board the plane. Thank goodnesss... we all lined up like "kia su" people, all of us who are going to Heathrow. Then we stood in line for another half hour watching the security have their smoke (in the non-smoking area) and leisurely drinking their coffee. By when, I already felt like strangling people. I didn't anyway. But that did explain the "smoky" lounges as reported by other people on the website.

All aboard... finally I am on the way to the faraway land...

The series of unfortunate events...

2008-06-12T22:44:00.000+01:00

There was... a series of unfortunate events...
I had been upset, but now have decided to get over it and move on with life.

1) I lost my wallet/purse (Don't tell my mum please, don't want to worry her...)
2) I lost my Oyster card on the second day after I purchase it. Yeay!

Well, anyways... the necessary has been sorted out. I've gone to the Malaysian Embassy in London. Guess what, I've been to heaps of toilets in London by now, whether public or private places. But the one in Malaysian embassy... is definitely typical Malaysian. No toilet paper, wet floor, wet toilet sit, stinking, toilet bowl is half full of soaking paper and "other" miscellaneous stuff.
Sorry, but I really had to talk bout the toilet. But the consular was really nice and helpful. Paperwork will be sorted out, very soon.
The missing of the wallet is what I call a truly magical event. I really have no idea how it could have disappeared.

The Oyster card however... fine fine fine, it's the super multitasking Jasmine that thinks she can do it all and hold everything in her hand, while running in the rain and putting a jacket over her head. By the time I got to my destination, the card was gone. That costs freaking 10 pounds, and I have only used 2, so there's 8 left. I've decided to walk 8 times, instead of take 8 bus rides.
That will explain future posts where my feet are going to be so dead.

All in all though, I am healthy and good *touchwood* (touch wood people...seriously) There was a man in his forties crying outside the post office today, that was after I realised I lost my Oyster card and I was super depressed. But then a man in his forties crying outside the post office... omg, that just made me realise what a teeny thing losing my stupid Oyster card is. I do hope nothing tragic has happened to him or his family or whatever....

The journey has begun...

2008-06-11T23:42:00.001+01:00

It was a lot of planning and running around like crazy, but "whoosh" time has flown by... and here I am now, in the United Kingdom. And I cannot believe it myself. Today is my third day here, and it all still feels unbelievable. I do not feel like I am here.
The sun is up till 10 pm. It is hot and sunny. I feel so much like I am still in Malaysia. Though yes, I have been going places, walking till my feet are gonna rot. I am... here.
This place is lovely and beautiful... seriously, I have been to so many places in 3 days (actually 2), cos my feet were so rotten today I couldn't walk very much.
No jet lag. It's a blessing in disguise that I had the 7 hours transit in Abu Dhabi. Have got lots of pictures, just really too tired to sort them out now...:) When I have, I promise.. I'll post them...:P

I'm sitting in my super teeny lil lovely room (it is really teeny, but I love it) my two babies next to me.. and I'm going to KO again very soon. It's not even midnight yet. But yes, tired tired tired. My feet are dead...

Miss all my friends (family) in Malaysia.... feels like 2 years is going to pass by in a flash. I better get my ass cracking, and get a job pretty darn soon if I want to get some $$$ ...

Under Construction

2004-06-15T15:22:00.000+01:00

Hi !! If anyone is reading this, this is just my first try at this thing.. seeing how it looks like and such. But I will be posting more on later when I have figured this thing out.. Keep visiting and have fun!